The Video Game Psychologist
by Jknight29
Summary: A character largely based off of Dr.Phil travels to many different video game worlds helping our characters with different problems.


" I hate this game, it punishes me for being good at it, I'm in first place and every time I get bombarded with blue shells." Phil said this in a voice sounding like an angry video game reviewer in the middle of an episode. The door bell rung and he answered it.

" I just created a new invention that can allow us to travel to different video game universes."

Phil looked out to see a Delorean parked outside. He thought that this invention was too good to be true but then again his friend was a brilliant scientist and had already invented a device that looked online for the best jokes ever created. He later sold the device to Carlos Mencia for an unprecedented price.

" Alright that's see what that car's got."

They hopped inside and within a few seconds they hopped out and were in front of a large castle. A gust of wind blew a newspaper in front of Phil. It's featured headline was a story about how Mario and Peach were going to divorce. Deciding that he needed to justify the name of this series he headed up to the castle to solve their problem. He was greeted by Princess Peach.

" Hello I'm Phil a famous Psychologist, I'm here to help you and Mario as it seems like you guys are having some problems." Phil was soon eating at the dinner table with Mario and Peach.

" You know I heard about putting yourself on a plate when you cook. But this is just ridiculous…" was eating spaghetti drenched in ragoo and mushrooms.

" So what's the biggest problem in your guy's marriage?"

" First off, whenever I'm not cleaning out somebody's crapper at work, I'm doing my second job which is saving her kidnapping-prone ass. All I ever get as a reward is cake. No I don't want cake… all I want is some action…"

Peach and Phil almost coughed out their dinners as Mario continued his rant.

" I want a new Mario series for football. But she already says we do the go karting, and the basketball, soccer, baseball, partying, typing, golfing, tennis, olympics, the hotel industry, construction, and getting the PhD in doctoring." " She says that football is too much of a contact sport but when she gets kidnapped every week its fine to risk my life for her to go and get kidnapped again a week later."

Mario took a second out of his rant to take a bite of his spaghetti.

" Also the crapper she's a clogged!"

Phil, Mario and Peach are then in the bathroom as they look at the problem.

" Those taco shits are a killer." Said Phil as he backed away a bit and tried to hide as Mario went to him with a plunger. It was a tough job but somebody had to do it.

" Nobody said that this job was easy, and nobody told me it involved unclogging crappers too. I should just go back to the regular world, where I sit down for thirty minutes and say get real to solve any problem and then laugh at the world as I get my millions of dollars…."

They were back in the living room as Mario and Peach were in an argument.

" I don't need this. I'm done with you Peach. I'm going to party every day!" Mario stormed out but tripped. " My trip did not diminish the impact of this exit!"

Meanwhile in the real world Phil's scientist friend passed by the video game section of a store to find a surprise. He saw a huge pile of new Mario Party games.

Mario Party 9: Greatest hits collection

Mario Party 10: Now with less improvements per year then Madden.

Mario Party 11: Going the Distance.

Mario Party 12: 3d edition.

Mario Party 13: The Next Generation.

Mario Party 14: Society has fallen so low that kids are having babies at the at the age of 4 thus calling for the Next Next generation.

Mario Party 15: Just give us $60 and shut up.

He urgently called Phil.

" I don't know what you did Phil, but you have to undo it. A bunch of new Mario Party games appeared and there's going to be massive amounts of $%^ online about this unless we fix it. I'm going to come back and help."

" Hurry up, I'll tell you all the details once you get here Issac." Phil said.

" Peach we have to find Mario. He's causing chaos. I can't explain but we have to stop him before…"

A large crashing noise was heard as a large koopa came through the walls of the castle leaving a huge hole in the wall.

" Bowser, get real. You can't just come crashing through peoples walls unexpectedly, now go outside and knock again. I hope you think about what you did when you do that too."

Bowser pretended to walk back before striking Phil with his large hammicky fist. Phil tried to get up but wasn't too used to getting punched. Bowser's fist felt like a train moving at mach speed hitting his face. He watched helplessly as Bowser picked up Peach and began to run away with her. He was close to the door when Mario appeared.

" No this always happens… not this time." Bowser chucked Peach down and used his fire breath to torch her. She collapsed to the ground like a rag doll as Mario was too slow to stop this all. " You couldn't save the day this time huh. That cliché is out of the way. So are going to avenge your loss Mario?"

Mario looked emotionless as he fell to the ground, kneeling on all fours. Bowser began to maul Mario who was too stricken with grief to fight. Phil who was slowly getting up was trying to figure out how to stop Bowser as Issac entered the room. Bowser was too busy finally getting a good beating on Mario to care about the newcomer.

" It's a long story Issac but we need to think of some way to stop Bowser before he kills Mario and us and then takes over the Mushroom Kingdom and might create even more chaos in our world."

" Were in a video game universe so we have been given some kind of power. I know I activated mine but it's kind of useless so try your power out."

Bowser finished pummeling Mario who had a large hole in his chest from Bowsers claws. He slowly began to head towards Phil and Isaac who began to talk in whispers.

" How do I activate it?"

" You have to be really angry to activate it!"

" But I have a bashful nature, kind of like the Pikachu I'm raising in Pokemon."

Bowser laughed at the remaining two people left in the castle.

" Look at you. Your supposed to be one of the best Psychologist ever and you've done nothing to help out Mario and Peach. In fact there dead now thanks to you. You're the worst person at doing your job since…"

" George W. Bush?" Isaac asked stalling for time.

" Who the hell is George Bush?"

Isaac remembered that his joke would of course make no sense to anyone in that universe but Phil.

Bowser began to strike a fighting pose as Phil cowered in fear.

" I let you down Mickey. I trained for this moment…"

" Mickey's a failure too. Must have been a real idiot. Nobody liked him and I bet he's somewhere now laughing at your failure."

Bowser began to swing…

" Wait… If you could stand there for a minute or two and let me flash back that would be grand."

.com/watch?v=ejJIILrrb0E

" No wait wrong flashback."

.com/watch?v=gXnqvO6nUq4

Phil hopped up with a burst of energy and a large stream of fire hit Bowser. Who was struck by Phil's new claws as Bowser fled before this new threat.

" At least I know that my power is stealing other peoples powers but what do we do know?"

" The writer could make a

$$-pull, that would be helpful."

After a few minutes of hoping for an asspull Phil and Isaac cried a bit as the tears made separate trails to Mario and Peach and revived them.

Mario and Peach ran to each other and hugged.

" I'm sorry about this whole thing Peach. You know I love you even when I have to clean the crapper when it's clogged."

Princess Peach blushed "Thanks Mario"

" If the writer would be kind enough to have money fall from the roof that would be great also…"

Phil said in a serious manner. After a few minutes he gave up and Peach chimed in.

" Thanks for saving the day guys, I'm going to reward you guys with… cake."

Everyone was eating cake at the table telling jokes.

" You know those Judy Moody books about that girl who's always in a bad mood" Phil said as he began to chuckle at the punch line for the joke he had yet to say. " I always thought that they should have put a giant period at the end of the title."

Everyone in the room laughed as Mario said " I don't get it…"

" You will eventually Mario." Isaac said.

" We have to go now guys we'll come back one day… or whatever stock goodbye saying you want to think of." Phil said. They were ready to hop in the Delorean as Isaac said " Should we go to more video game universes?"

" We should go back home before any more crazy things happen." Isaac nodded his head in agreement with Phils statement as they hopped in. Except it didn't go as planned. They looked outside to see the new video game universe they were in.

" OF ANY VIDEO GAME UNIVERSE WE COULD HAVE LANDED IN, WHY THIS ONE!" Phis said in panic.


End file.
